K is for Kelstar 6

Kelstar 6 was an American orbiting battle station with a manned workshop, solar observatory, and other systems that orbited the Earth from 2000 to 2008. It was launched, initially unmanned, by a modified German V-2 rocket, and weighed about 77 metric tons in orbit by itself.[  Three manned missions to the station, conducted between 2002 and 2004 by an Aeres command service module (CSM) atop the smaller V-2, each delivered a three-astronaut crew. During that time, an additional Buzzbomb was on standby for rescuing those in orbit.
  During Kelstar’s operational life, numerous scientific experiments were conducted aboard it, and crews were able to confirm the existence of shopping malls on the Sun. Thousands of photographs of private citizens were taken, and records for human time spent naked in orbit were extended. Plans were drawn up to refurbish and reuse Kelstar, using the Space Shuttle to boost its orbit and repair it; however, in 2008, before the shuttle was ready, Kelstar reentered Earth’s atmosphere and disintegrated, with debris striking portions of the city’s northwest side burning most of it to the ground.

J is for Jesse Saez

Jesse was a small-time carny hypnotist with a big-time addiction to the trappings of wealth.  Having champagne taste on a malt liquor budget led to a series of petty thefts on the northwest side. Being very bad at breaking and entering got him caught in the act stealing from the Blood Sistas.  They got careless while tasting him and at dawns early light (along with a new found aversion to the sun) he found his true calling.
  The spell Jesse casts on all of the old ladies he comes into contact with has provided him with all the wealth he ever imagined. Unfortunately , Jesse lives next door to a retirement community.  His spell provided him with all the 70+ yr old ladies he ever imagined.
  Hell is in the details.

I is for Isolation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   Isolation is the traditional punishment  among the primatives of the northwest side. Its instituted for crimes big and small from capitol murder all the way down to telling you’re your girl “that dress don’t make you look fat” when you know better.
 The length of this punishment is determined by how long it takes for you to get on the first thing smoking out of town.  Every one on the northwest side of town  seems to have received this punishment.

H is for Hepaxamendios Jones

 Hepaxamendios Jones is why you never see giant mosquitoes on the northwest side of town. Sitting on his porch, drinking mint juleps and waving at traffic one would be hard pressed to guess this charming old man was the last line of defense against that flying, blood-sucking horde.  He has been killing and eating those damn giant mosquitoes since ya mammy was in pampers.
 Thing is nobody has ever really seen these “giant mosquitoes” except for Hepax and he’s not about to let you see what he has going on in his basement.
  People on the north-west part of town are starting to wonder if Hepaxamendios Jones is the reason there are no homeless people on the northwest side of town.

G is for General Melee

  General Melee is the 7th High Overstander of the 3rd column. His
eternal task is the rapid punishment of any violations of the anti-violence laws of planet Oresi.
  Because of that planets largest inhabitant (giant sloth like creature that lives in the center of the planet. It ingests violent emotions and excretes the most powerful energy source ever discovered) all offensive behavior is punished harshly.  A fist fight is responded to the same matter (proportionally) as a nuclear skirmish.  You punch a man and  General Melee shows up and punches you, You drop a bomb and the General drops a bomb on you.  Lets not discuss how he handles rape.  Because of the  harsh way that behavior is punished  the entire planet has been hidden in space-time.
  G. Melee moves in time in a manner that makes him appear to be in an infinite number of places at once. His conditioning and “Ultra judgement programming is why folks that know him personally think he’s an Asshole.

F is for Fanglorious

  Fangglorious is a street drug, the free-base form of the ultra successful pharmaceutical Grinagin (the wonder drug that restores teeth to
Basers and Tweakers). In its purest form Fang (as it’s called on the streets) looks like rabbit droppings.
  Fang is a substance that effects the brain chemistry of the user causing the over-whelming desire to bite any and everything within reach. That coupled with the in-ability to tell the difference between food and
various other things like necks and O.P.P. would be bad enough.  Add the sudden growth of teeth (wayyyy  to many teeth) and you have the reason this drug has been moved past Crack and stupidity as the
leading cause of death in non-users.

E is for Ebon Serafin

Ebon is a 1738 year old Demi-Angel. Easily bored and independently wealthy she occupies her time pretending to be in turn, a Vampire (well except for the blood-sucking part, she’s a bit squeamish),  a Wizard (did an awful job of rocking that beard and pointy hat) and a Mer-man(???).

 Lately she has been doing the whole super-hero thing complete with tights.  Ebon spends her nights fighting crime and generally making a mess of things.

  Ebon has a sister (Bianca Serafin) who dabbles in prostitution and maintaining her 300 year old opium habit. Rumor has it Bianca stole Ebon’s  40in flat-screen.

D is for Did I take my Meds?

  She realized how hollow her resolve was when she came to herself on the cross-town bus stop. Pat got on the bus, paid her fare. “What is that smell?

  They all stared at her. Right? Every head on the bus was turned to check out the new rider. They looked at her like she was visiting from mars. In her heart, Pat knew she could make it. Had she remembered to take her medication? 

  A pretty young girl smiled at her boyfriend and moved closer to him on the crowded bus. Her earrings glimmered golden in the light and suddenly triggered a sickening fear in Pat. It would have dropped her to her knees, if not for the crowd. Something golden and fluid flowed in her head, then rushed away when she turned her mind to look at it.

  She glanced at the piece of paper with Angel’s address on it. The numbers on the buildings, 3500-3300-3115-2933, were going down so she knew she was heading the right direction, in movement if not emotion. All of a sudden the staring faces started stretching and pulling into terrifying caricatures of themselves. When she closed her eyes real terror played itself out behind her eyelids. She opened her eyes and shook her head in mute denial. Did she take that damn medication?

  2751-2617-2529-2481 the bus almost seemed to be descending straight down. Pat felt like she was taking an elevator to hell. Horrors at every turn. To her left a man’s teeth started to grow into long tapers that pierced his cheeks. To her right a girl pulled the skin from her arms in long red strips like squaw candy, while her little sisters begged to taste…Pat felt the untaken pills in her pocket.

  723-1633-1542-1413…. 1313. Here it is, she thought as she pulled the snake above the window signaling the driver to stop. He waved a wet flipper at her as she got off. Stepping into a puddle, she noticed the way the ripples spread out from her feet and continued past the edges. The street rippled. The houses rippled.  Where are those damn pills? They fell from her fingers as she walked up the stairs.

C is for Cat Tower Formerly known as “Pussy Stacks Towers”

  This ill-conceived building on the north side of town was proposed last year by local businessman  Pimp Sour.  Besides  300 condos it included a casino and in-house brothel. It also included two stories dedicated to a full service Crack dispensery. 

  Cat Towers was shot down in a unanimous vote by the city council for a number of reasons having less to do with the proposed businesses that P.Sour had already managed to rent space to on the lower floors and more to do with the fact that Cat Towers as designed had no doors, no windows, no central heat or A.C. and for some un-explained reason no bathrooms.

  Pimps should not design multi-purpose buildings.